Helping Victims of Domestic Abuse Essay

Domestic sophisticate has gr accept to be one of confederations most shameful scourges. Its dupes who more often that non represent of women, endure public humiliation meted out by their spouse, extreme jealousy, get over over who they see and talk to, spousal financial control, sexual assault, unrestrained and mental manipulation and in most cases, physical violence. There argon many ways by which domestic abuse is perpetrated by opprobrious spouses but very some of its victims atomic number 18 willing to admit to it or atomic number 18 even aware that they are indeed be abused.When nineteen-year hoar Vickii Coffey married her childhood sweetheart at age 19, she thought her married couple day was conscion adapted the first day of the life of her dreams. Little did she sock that the following eight years of her married life would be pass in and out of hospitals as a victim of domestic violence. afterwards 8 years of enduring such abuse and fearing for her and her sons safety, Vickii finally filed for divorce. Today, 13 years after her nightmarish marriage, Vikki is happily married and works as the executive director of Greenhouse, Chicagos oldest and largest protect for beaten-up women and their children.(Barber) The question I get all the time is, why would a fair sex stay on that point and take something like that? Whats her problem? says Coffey who now counsels women on their options to violence. (Barber) Medical Sociologist Dr. Jacquelyne Johnson Jackson from Duke University Medical total in Durham, N. C. , believes that many women, who stay and endure spousal abuse, reserve been lettered to know their place as women often subservient to their fathers and other young-begetting(prenominal) members of the family(Barber). most women however, stay because they do non know they are in reality being abused.A newspaper article that appeared in Glasgow, Scotlands sunlight Mail in January 23, 2005, details the experience of Julie Black, a 47-year old woman from Dumfries who nearly lost her life after being badly battered by her husband, David Hill for three hours (It All Started with 34). Hospital staff who tended to her counted up to 56 injuries on her body including a fractured skull and badly beaten look that puffed up so she could hardly see. Of her experience, Julie is quoted as saying He had to almost kill me before I realised I didnt deserve to be treated that way. Im a passably strong person.Ive never thought of myself as a victim. however domestic violence creeps up on you so gradually you hardly notice My admirers and family were horrified. I was so ashamed of what was happening, Id kept the abuse secret. Perhaps if Id confided in someone, they could have talked sense into me and Id have got out sooner. (It All Started with 34) It is prescript for concerned friends to want to help people they distrust of being victims of abuse. era ones first instinct would be to call the legal philosophy or crisis agencies, some time the only thing they need to do is to just listen and be a friend.Here are a few guidelines (How to help) in how people should talking to a friend whom they suspect of being abused by her spouse In preparing for the talk, concerned friends or family members mustiness set aside some time to talk with her. They must make sure to pick a quiet place where the victim feels safe and comfortable. It is important to keep in mind that discussing such a serious and personal issue as abuse may not be easy at first. As the victim begins to talk, it is important that she feels her friends concern, as well as receive assurance that what she is qualifying through is not normal. Victims of spousal abuse often feel that they deserve the abuse their partners do. They need to be re-assured that they are being unders in additiond and that the abuse is not their fault. It would be good for friends to let the victim know that they are worried for her and if any, her childre ns safety. Victims constantly need to be reminded there are people who love and care for her who are immediate to help the irregular she reads. It is important that she doesnt feel judged. Friends should be prepared to listen and precisely be the victims friend. Let her talk at her own pace and in her own terms.Victims who feel comfortable in their friends heading will find it easier for to open up and just let the run-in flow. Shame and guilt are common among victims of abuse. Friends must be ready to reassure the victim that she is not alone in her situation and there are many people willing to help should she wish to petition for it. Abused women should never feel forced to do things she may not be ready to do as yet such as packing up and leaving her partner. While concerned friends may be tempted to tell the victim what to do, they must respect her space and decisions.If the victim does ask for advice, it is best to help her explore her options rather than give direct fe edback. A safety plan she may follow should things get to be too difficult at home is always helpful. Whenever possible, concerned friends and family members are advise to read up on brochures and information regarding crisis centers and womens support groups so that they may be able to give informed advice to the victim. It will in all probability be a good supposition to offer to look up sources of help on her behalf.She may not want to right now but in the future, it may be good to have an idea of possible agencies that may be able to help her such as womens crisis centers, psychiatrists or shelters. If after all is said and done and the victim static wishes to go back to her relationship, people must be able to respect her wishes and support her. It can be frustrating at times when after all the talking and crying is done, the victim may still decide to stay in an abusive relationship. It is very important to suppose however that one cannot just rescue a friend.There are si mply some things that take time and victims may need such time to come to terms with the reality of their situation before being able to concretely decide what to do.Works CitedBarber, MarchelLe Renise. Why Some Men Batter Women (and Why Some Women Take It) Domestic delirium Is Americas Most Common Crime. Ebony Oct. 1990 54+. Questia. 22 Oct. 2007 . How to Help a Friend Who is Being Abused. Violence Against Women. National Womens Health information Center. 4women. gov. 21 Oct. 2007